Dear Pajama Day...

Dear Pajama Day,

I miss you. Please come back into my life. Things just aren't the same when you're not around once every couple of weeks. Okay, once every single week. At least. I know I'm supposed to stay busy with other things but my heart belongs to you. I love you. Please come back soon. Please.

Love,

Jennifer

Random Updates

I've been kind of lazy about my blog lately but then I got my blog book in the mail (best $35 I ever spent) and now I'm recommitted to being better about writing down the happenings in our family. Let's face it - that's really why I write this blog. Because I have the world's worst memory and if it's not documented, it's forgotten.

So first of all thank you so much for all the shout outs about my guilt post. Even though I can't seem to make myself quit feeling guilty about all the things I do (or don't do) as a mother it helps me so much to know that pretty much every other mom out there feels the same way! And thanks for all the kind words about my mothering. I'm glad it looks so good on paper. =)

Here are just some recent pictures and a brief update on life lately:

We took a trip to Utah to help Mark's brother, Sean, move into their new house. On the way there Weston and Saydi were holding hands. It was so adorable. They both did GREAT in the car. And the great thing is that we were gone for three days and Mark didn't use any vacation time because he works 4 on, 4 off. Love that.

Steph is so in love with Saydi (and Weston too but girls gotta stick together) and the feeling is definitely mutual. Saydi fell asleep with Steph while she was keeping her out of the way as things were brought in and Steph was quick to follow!

Saydi got stuck under the coffee table the other day and it was pretty cute. She's not crawling at all yet but can kind of scoot her way around. Enough to get stuck and get mad anyway!

She was mid-sneeze when I took this and I thought it was pretty funny!

Mark has been working so much lately and it has been quite an adjustment for me. Mark is such a great help to me with both the kids and the house work so it's been kind of hard becoming a "single" parent for four days in a row. Then we have weeks like this one where he has an extra day of over-time and then has a scout campout to go to on his days off. And next week he has to go in for training, classes, and an over-time which will end up having him working for close to 12 days straight. I think we all just might lose our sanity! I know my patience has certainly been wearing thin and I really need to try harder at adjusting more quickly! But this is one of those things for us where the saying "careful what you wish for" is so true. We've needed the extra money and apparently the only way to get it is to work for it. Truthfully though, all hardships aside, we're very grateful to our Heavenly Father for answering our prayers with this job and the extra income. And most days my burden really does feel lighter despite being alone with both kids for 15 hours a day. We're just plain loving life and enjoying our little family!

The Worst Thing About Motherhood

Guilt. How I loathe you. Everything else about being a mom has some kind of reward. Including potty training and sleepless nights. But guilt is good for NOTHING. Unfortunately I've been experiencing a lot of it lately. I've been debating for a while about weaning Saydi onto formula but really didn't want to for lots of reasons - breast milk is better, formula's expensive, she's getting so close to being one and going on whole milk, etc. However, I've worried about this little girl practically since birth. She rarely giggles and lately was even starting to smile less. She absolutely loses it when I leave the room or if someone else tries to play with her and talk to her. Most concerning to me is that over the last almost six months she has only gained TWO pounds. Two. Not good. I've felt like all of this is because of my milk supply so I've been trying to drink more water, etc. But a couple weeks ago I had to get a colonoscopy and so I had to pump and dump for 12 hours so Saydi had to take bottles for a day. There was pretty much no looking back for her. I fought her the whole next day to try to get her to nurse and even though so started to again she will not do it for more then 5-6 minutes and she is frequently breaking off and looking around, getting bored with it. Plus she won't really latch on very good any more either. So, when she went an entire day last week with almost no wet diapers at ALL I decided it was time to make it official. The thing is - I feel guilty about switching her, but I feel even more guilty about the changes I'm already seeing in her. She plays, giggles, smiles, is content, and is wetting diapers like a champ! So now I have guilt that I didn't switch her sooner! (Or at least try to figure something out!) She's still nursing first thing in the morning and for one feeding during the day and then she does both before bed. I plan to have her completely weaned by the time she's 9 months to make it an easier adjustment for both of us. But I really wish I could just look at the positive and not worry about all the guilt over every dumb thing. I hate it. I do it with Weston too. Sometimes when I can't sleep at night I will remember times he's fallen down the stairs and I wasn't there and I just think, if only..., or why didn't I... Blah! Guilt, guilt, go away!

Brother and Baths

Despite all the sickness and chaos that has been prevailing at our house lately I can't help but be grateful for my little family. Weston blows me away every day with how good of a brother he is. Yesterday I was in the middle of feeding Saydi and I remembered I had started making Weston's dinner and needed to finish it so I was trying to hurry and do that but Saydi wasn't very happy that she wasn't getting her food. So Weston just crawled up into the chair, grabbed her food off the table, and finished feeding her her food. He did a pretty good job too - once I showed him how to get small amounts of food onto the spoon!

The other thing he does that helps me is unloading the dishwasher. Whenever he hears me open it he will come running (without even being asked) and start handing me things one and a time. Sometimes I have to hurry and get the glasses away from him but for the most part he is pretty good about it. He always helps until every last dish is put away, and if I'm being too slow and he knows where it goes he will actually put things away on his own. Hopefully he will continue to think it's a "fun" thing to do as he gets older! He's been such a blessing to us and was well worth the wait!

Saydi loves her biter biscuits. She still has NO sign of teeth except for all the drool and gnawing she does. Anyway, she makes such a mess that I can never give her one unless we can head straight to the bath afterwards.

I've started letting her sit up in the bath more but it still makes me kind of nervous since she has slipped once or twice when she gets too excited. But she is so happy sitting up that I just love it. She figured out she could splash and it is a huge hit with her. (P.S. Don't be alarmed by Saydi's nubbin of a belly button. It's still herniated but the doctor said it should completely close on its own sometime soon. Hopefully.)

The kids are starting to get better since we found out the both had double ear infections and got them on antibiotics. I got hit with whatever they all had a few days ago but am over the worst of it - I think, and am anxiously awaiting spring and summer and an end to cold season!

Don't Know What You've Got Till It's Gone

Health!! Please come back to my place of residence! My poor babies have been SO sick all weekend. Three days of fevers, coughs and runny noses. Neither one of them have been themselves and it just breaks my heart. Weston's been rubbing at his head and eyes and today he starting beating himself on the head and I completely freaked out because that's what I did when I had my blood clot. So now I feel so bad that my poor little guy has a headache too. We're going to the doctor tomorrow - fevers or not. And even if/when he tells me it's "just a cold" at least I'll know I did my part, right? I think they got it from Mark and I just have to say, I'm so grateful for all the help he's given me all weekend with the kids and the house even though he hasn't felt so hot himself. I seriously would have had a break down without him.

So - in the hopes of remembering the days before illness ruled our house I decided to post this adorable video of what a good brother Weston is. I have a recent one of him actually feeding her baby food and it's precious too but I'm too lazy to go find my camera and upload it to my computer. Maybe some other post. =) Saydi sure loves her snacks!

This same day I turned around to check on them and found Saydi reaching for Weston. I thought it was so cute and the next time I turned around to check on them I saw this:

I watched them quietly to see how long it would last and they both sat that way for a good 3-4 minutes. They melt my heart. And hopefully they'll be enjoying such moments again SOON!

A Bit of Everything

Lots has been going on that I haven't really been blogging about so I figured I should update. Our niece Steph has "officially" moved in with us. She is looking for a job and unless she can't find one she will most likely be living with us for a while.

It's been lots of fun and nice to have some company because Mark has been working INSANE hours lately. They were on a weird schedule that basically had him going back and forth between working nights and days every week because he was getting so much overtime. Lots of people complained though so now they're going back to the 4x4 schedule (four days on, four days off). He works 12 hour shifts but is gone 15 hours total with the bus ride so he doesn't get to see the kids at all on the days he works and it's been kind of hard for him but he will get so much good quality time with them now that he'll have four days off in a row.

My favorite recent picture of Saydi is this one. I put Weston's clothes on the couch one morning and was in the bathroom doing my makeup while they were playing. I started walking into my room to get something and I checked to see what they were up to and found Saydi playing this way. And she was happy as could be too! She sure is tolerant of her older brother and the way he "plays" with her!

Weston is completely incapable of taking pictures lately. He either gets too excited to see what it will look like and runs over to see the other side of the camera before I take it or he closes his eyes. But I still wanted to post this picture because man oh man, look at those lashes! Heart breaker coming through!

On a side note I wanted to post a picture of this pillow I made for my niece, Emma's, upcoming birthday. My sister suggested that it would be a good gift and when I remembered that I had some scrap material in her favorite colors I decided I would do it. So during my sleepless night last night I put this together in my head and then made it today. I've been wanting to try those yo yo's out every since I saw them on a Angalee Blatter's blog and finally got around to it. I loved them so much that I made some more to put on some hair clips for my other nieces. They are surprisingly easy! Anyway, I put this whole pillow together for a grand total of $5! Love it. You can't see it but there's green stitching around the "E" too.

So that's pretty much all that is new around this joint. Saydi woke up a little bit sick and has plummeted downhill today and Weston decided he'd join in this afternoon so this weekend should be interesting! Thankfully Mark has it off - after working for eight days straight! We're excited to say the least!

Westons Dictionary 2010 Edition

Coffee Table - a race track to drive cars on as fast as my little hands can go, leaving permanent car tracks in the finish on the table. Also a good place to dump out snacks, sit on, and generally destroy.

Fork - an item to comb through hair, only after having dipped in something sticky or slimy or generally yucky.

Light - pronounced "har" because mommy told me the lamp on her bed was "hot" so I wouldn't touch, thus all lights are "har". A switch to be flipped on and off as often as possible throughout the day. When mommy is busy turn it off; when baby sister is sleeping turn it on.

Mine - any object that is in my hands at any given moment. Particularly things that are dangerous or harmful that mommy takes away from me.

Saydi - see "teddy bear"

Teddy Bear - my very own baby. To be carried around by the arm or some other haphazard way. Sits with me and plays with me. To be taken good care of but when you get bored with it be sure to shove it away or throw it off your lap with as much force as possible.

Vacuum extension hose - a sword to swing around in close proximity to baby sister. Also works well as a golf club.

Love Him

Six years. Wow. A long time. Mark and I will have been married for that long this Sunday. Crazy, I know. What's even more crazy to me though is how much we've been through in those six years. The divorce of our siblings who were married to each other; a four month separation when he was in the Marines and had to do special training in St. Louis; hospital stays for me (something I've gotten used to but Mark had to adjust to) - one of which was while he was in St. Louis and I was in CA completely alone; infertility; five moves and three jobs; and of course every other adjustment that comes with getting married and sharing your life with someone else. And yet somehow we've managed to come out even better than we started.

Through it all we've never once raised our voices at each other (not that we haven't had arguments!). We've always seemed to be able to get through our trials by becoming closer and more dependent on each other, something I know isn't always easy for couples to do. And I couldn't be more grateful for all of our good times AND bad; because they have made us into the people we are.

I'm grateful for the husband, father, and person that Mark is. I'm grateful for the way he honors his priesthood. I'm grateful for the love and respect he shows for me and our little family. I'm grateful that I know without a doubt we are his number one priority. And I'm especially grateful to know that our anniversary's will never have an end and that he will literally be my husband forever. I'm grateful for him. I love you Baby.